4am_secret: (F&G // Music appreciation)


She's nominated for an EMA for Best Dutch Act :)
4am_secret: (TH // Unendlichkeit)
So I'm reading Neon Angel right now, and Cherie describes her first rock concert ever, which also happened to be her first time seeing David Bowie live. I think many of you will understand why I was able to relate to it so much :)

I watched this impossibly thin, pale, alien prince singing to me. Not on vinyl, but right there... right in front of my face, this beautiful, hypnotic, strange man was singing to me, and although I could not quite put it into words, I instinctively knew that what I was experiencing was something religious, something profound. The crowd seemed to move as one being, pushing towards the front, a tidal wave of teenage energy, and although I had heard the words coming out of David's mouth a million times, it felt as if I were hearing the words for the first time, each line reaching across the massive amphitheater and falling around me like a meteor shower.

The heat and the frustration, the alienation and the loneliness, the lust and the anxiety and the joy that seemed like it had been building inside of me for years were suddenly unbearable, like the pressure was too much and I felt like a bomb primed to explode, and only David Bowie knew how I felt. His words explained what was deep down inside of me better than I ever could.

To be honest, the "religious experience" aspect of this reminds me more of the second time I saw Hyde live, so this could fit him as well, for me. But the description just reminds me so much of Bill, and the second part reminds me so much of Humanoid and seeing them in Spain. Happy Anniversary, Durch Den Monsun <333 And hey, beautiful ♥_♥

Bootsy Bellows Nightclub West Hollywood (8)

4am_secret: (Stock // Nature)
Still obsessing over this album, yes. I promise I'll post other music again... soonish.


I overlooked this song the first 20 times, probably, that I listened to this album because it's not as catchy or obvious as most of the rest. But then one night, it was like the lyrics broke through the haze and I realized that this song is everything to me right now. It is so rare that I relate so intensely to a song that is actually uplifting ;) The video is also interesting - just now, for this post, is the first time I've ever seen it, but I've been dying to change up my hair again lately.
4am_secret: (Stock // Love all)


Bif Naked!

I was going to go on and on about her, but watch that video up there ^ and she will say it for me ♥ You can hear bits of some of her music there, but a great example of her music is this song.

I, Bificus was one of my favorite albums when I was in high school, I love absolutely every song on it. One of the things I always liked about Bif Naked's music was that she has absolutely no problem singing obvious love songs about girls (and boys, pretty equally, hehe). She's also pretty bad ass, and I was really into anything involving strong women kicking ass back then XD And now, of course, but back then, I never thought much about why I enjoyed it so much, or how much what they were doing meant. Her music has given me a lot of strength at times when I needed it most.

I also find her to be a really inspiring person in other ways. She's overcome many issues with her health, including breast cancer, but her outlook on the world and everything in it is beautiful. She has an entire song about her guilt over killing a bee!
4am_secret: (Stock // Peace)

What is this logic, there is no place for that in this fandom country!

(In all seriousness though, this is quite possibly the most amazing rant I have ever seen.)
4am_secret: (FF // woe)

My mom loves this song, and we visited the museum dedicated entirely to the Edmund Fitzgerald years ago when I was younger, so I grew up knowing the story. Shipwreck stories and legends (and those involving the sea or ships in general) have always fascinated me, probably partly because my mom used to be so passionate about them - she's really into basically anything related, hence her obsession with lighthouses! When I was in third grade, I remember talking about the Titanic in school and I already knew everything there was to know about it. My mom had a few different books that talked about it and I had devoured them all ♥
4am_secret: (Kristen // Glow)


Oh my gosh, you guys. This song, this video. They are everything I need right now. Kristen is so, so beautiful, I can't even handle it. I think they both have faces that express very deep vulnerability - especially considering how much of it is just his. It's got to be difficult to open yourself up like that, and I find it really moving.

And of course, I can't not acknowledge this, too:

It feels like the world is helping me out a little :)
4am_secret: (Bill ☠ Smile!)
So, Tom posted this video on his blog:

I have not forgotten that Martin is A&R ;) But I laughed really hard XD A lot of the comments are good, too!
4am_secret: (Bill ☠ Smile!)


First, I've been craving really good Biorg (that I haven't already read) like MAD lately, and this certainly didn't help that XD <3

It makes me so unbelievably happy that they talked about what they consider crossing the line - and included fans in front of their studio. Thank you, they've said it, we can see it for ouselves: it is not okay with them.

I think that Bill is probably absolutely the only person in the whole entire world that could get me to watch any of those shitty Saw movies, or Hostel, lol. But he would damn well have to be ready to cover my eyes for me when there's eye stuff D: "Closing your eyes is bullshit" my ass, I can handle gore with the best of them but they would not want to see my reaction to that!

Bill's answer about Michael Jackson was ♥ Thank you.

They asked some really good questions! I liked hearing them talk about reincarnation and stuff like that - although it just makes me wish even more that I could talk to them about it all on my own time, because they can't get into it at all in any kind of interview.

There's a second part here, in case anyone hasn't seen it, wherein I became convinced that these boys desperately need to sit down and have a movie marathon with me (after we discuss reincarnation and whatnot, of course)!

Oh, and we'll have a Supernatural marathon while we're at it ;) *delusionally plots*
4am_secret: (Default)


Could the entire Tokio Hotel fandom pleeeeeeaaaaaase watch this, right now? I've watched a few other videos on his channel, and he's just brilliant. I wish that he didn't play with his hair so much, it's distracting from what he's actually saying, but I still find myself so enthralled with everything he has to say.

This comment made me laugh really hard:

I choose to be heteroxesual NOT because society tells me to, but because boobs kick ass.
And vagina feels better than asshole. :X

And I adored this comment:

I'm attracted to straight men, gay men, trannies, straight females, lesbians and some interesting types in between.

I wonder what that makes me.

For me attraction to a person can be so many shades of desire, sometimes just a need for emotional sanctuary, sometimes wildly physical, sometime only minimal.

Sitting on a black velvet Victorian couch and looking into the eyes of an amazing woman while others chattered mindlessly around us, this was one of the most sensual/erotic moments in my life.

Edit: Another one!

Seriously, why do we not see more people with this mentality in the Tokio Hotel fandom?? It's so rare, and yet everyone else thinks that they are truly open-minded. I can't help but see the possible parallels with Bill, where it seems like so many other people are perfectly happy to just stuff him in some particular box, and if it happens to be the "gay" box, they feel enlightened because they're so accepting of it. My issues with the fandom's attitude about all of this isn't even really about Bill, though, because of course I wouldn't presume to know anything about him; but the overall attitude towards sexuality and gender in general, you know?

October 2012

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Are you still living there
Walking the streets with your hollow stare
You say there's loneliness everywhere
So we have nothing to lose
The music plays all day long
And sorrow looks beautiful
And lovers seem mystical
Tomorrow a new point of view
These bright lights will bend to make blue
Now this can all look new to you