4am_secret: (Buffy // Willow)
I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and/or weekend <3

I had a very Buffy-ful holiday :) My mom did end up tracking down the seventh season for me, after hitting a few dead-ends. I can't believe so few places carry those DVD's anymore! The person she talked to in one place had never even heard of the show. (I weep, I WEEP!) She found it at Barnes and Noble, though, thank goodness. She also picked up the second and third volumes of season 8 for me, since I haven't read them and they're putting out season 9 now. So behind! I hope to marathon all 7 seasons of the show now that I own the final DVD's; I've only watched the last season the one time when it aired, and I haven't seen the whole show in far too long. ♥

After watching so many movies this year, I've decided that next year needs to be my year of books. I really need to read far more, and I'm disappointed with how little I managed this year. So I am determined to finally finish The Count of Monte Cristo before the end of the year, and I will start the new year fresh with a new book. The last day and a half has been spent doing nothing but reading and sleeping, and it has been glorious.

I'm enjoying using this week I have off from class as a bit of a breather from the internet, and fandom.

Oh, also: I cannot believe Hyde is releasing an autobiography next month! I honestly do not know if I want to read it or not. I've always sort of appreciated the air of semi-mystery around him, and how protective he's been of his private life. If it's put in front of me, translated, I might check it out, but I don't know if I'll seek it out otherwise!
4am_secret: (MLP // Caaaaaaake!)
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I'm thinking that I'm happy that:

- my belly is full of Jimmy John's and Mountain Dew
- I have chocolate milk, egg nog, orange juice, cute little classic glass bottles of Coke, and more cookies (since my dad made my others last night *grumble*) in the fridge, and hot cocoa in the cupboard, and I bought a frozen pizza for dinner. I LOVE DELICIOUS FOOD AND DELICIOUS BEVERAGES.
- my unemployment stuff worked itself out and they made up the amount I was shorted last time on the check I got this week
- today's Merlin is downloading \o/
- my homework is literally only submitting my final illustration which will take 3 seconds and then this class is completely over, and I have a high A :D I think I'll post some of my work soon if anyone wants to see it, I liked how some of it turned out.
- I can read all day tomorrow

I've been a little worried about some health issues I'm having (that I'm pretty sure are due to these fucked up periods that I'm still having, or whatever is causing them), so I've decided to start taking B-complex vitamins to see if they help at all. I really hope they do.

Lastly, I'm sooooo nervous that my speech class starts on Monday, but I just need to take a deep breath and power my ass through it. Once it's over, I'll never have to do it again. Any ideas on persuasive speeches I could do for it? I need it to be something I can feel comfortable with in case I have to give it around one of my parents, so I'd like to avoid most things involving sexuality, religion, and probably politics LOL -_- I'd actually kinda like to do something fun, if we're allowed.
4am_secret: (FF // woe)

My mom loves this song, and we visited the museum dedicated entirely to the Edmund Fitzgerald years ago when I was younger, so I grew up knowing the story. Shipwreck stories and legends (and those involving the sea or ships in general) have always fascinated me, probably partly because my mom used to be so passionate about them - she's really into basically anything related, hence her obsession with lighthouses! When I was in third grade, I remember talking about the Titanic in school and I already knew everything there was to know about it. My mom had a few different books that talked about it and I had devoured them all ♥
4am_secret: (TH // Uhhhh...)
My thoughts on Glee tonight - cut for spoilers and wordy ranty negativity, so if you're squeeful and don't want it ruined, you might want to keep on scrolling! )

But LOOK AT THIS AMAZING POSTER!!! (click for much bigger)


So excited, SO EXCITED!!! The trailer will be out tomorrow, HAVE I MENTIONED I'M SO EXCITED?

I only mentioned in passing in that survey I filled out a few days ago, but I have officially deleted by my Google+ account, and my Facebook account. I feel so much better. I'm thinking of looking for a nice, comparable alternative for Gmail, as well. I just trust google less and less. They've asked me quite a few times now to give them my cellphone number, and I've heard from others that it's happened to them, too. I'm very not okay with that. Google does not need my phone number, that is bullshit. It's disturbing, how many people just give this information away, no questions asked anymore. I refuse to. I'm fully aware that everything I put on the internet, even within my locked journal, could be seen by people I don't even know and used for purposes I can't even fathom, which is why I try to be careful. But websites trying to wheedle information out of people? Even if it's like facebook, where they simply give you the fields to fill in and people assume it MUST be trustworthy, because it's facebook! No, no way heh.

Oh, I forgot that I capped my desktop for that meme going around :) I'll probably be changing it to that image up there ^ soon, but for now, and for awhile, it's:

4am_secret: (Cabaret // Oh dear)
Yesterday, Michigan passed legislation allowing bullying. I can't even fucking believe it. Exact words:

This section does not prohibit a statement of a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction of a school employee, school volunteer, pupil, or a pupil and parent or guardian.

Isn't that just awesome? So, not only does "moral conviction" cover just about anything someone could possibly want it to, it also basically tells bullies exactly what they need to say and do to get away with it. Fuck everything, seriously.

And in other disgusting news, wow, NPH, wow. So disappointed in him. That is so far beyond bad taste, I can't even take it.

In personal BLARGH, haha, I don't think I'm going to be able to put off a trip to the eye doctor much longer. My eyes are just getting worse and worse :( Today I haven't even had much homework to work on, and I've only been online about two hours total, and my eyes are already starting to blur quite a bit. Every day it seems like it takes less time for them to get to that point, and since ALL of my schoolwork depends on my laptop, just taking a break from it isn't really an option. I need to remember to take breaks during my work more often, but I always forget x_x The thing is, even if I can scrounge up enough money for an appointment, if I need glasses or anything like that, I just do not have enough extra money to pay for that. I've never heard of eye doctors being all that lenient with people having financial problems, but does that happen ever?
4am_secret: (Bowie // Rebel rebel)
This is really amazing. I clicked onto it as kind of a joke, because I thought it was a documentary about two die-hard Tiffany fans (yes, 'I Think We're Alone Now' Tiffany XD), but it turns out, it's actually about two people who are obsessed with her, and completely convinced they are in love with her. I thought it was a really amazing insight into the sort of lives that can lead to things like this, and the sort of people who go to this extreme, since we all see things like this surrounding Tokio Hotel/Bill/Tom, and write them off or even make fun of them as crazies. It all just makes me sad.

A lot of TH fans in general lately make me sad, because I feel like I see a lot of extreme attachment to them. On tumblr, in places like [livejournal.com profile] gajastar's forum, etc. It makes me wonder why they need this so much, and I have no doubt that they do, because I think we all do, to some degree, right? Some people enjoy fandom as a hobby, but many of us enjoy it as an escape - I know I do. It's when I see people worrying over the most seemingly pointless things, or whoever is ruining Gaja's life at any given moment (XD) that I really have to wonder what their RL is like, what it is lacking or throwing at them that makes the unhealthy degree of their fixation so necessary. Maybe fandoms get so wanky because they're all basically misguided attempts at self-medication and therapy for a lot of people, too many people.

I guess a lot of people don't care about stuff like this. Maybe it's occurred to others, and they just feel like other people's problems aren't their own, but I think when we're all interacting in a medium that doesn't allow us any insight at all basically into the people we're talking with, a little empathy could go a long way. I mean, these people are affecting us enough to make us angry sometimes, so I guess their problems do become our own, even when we aren't aware of it, and as for me, I would really just like to understand that more.

I loved this quote from that video, btw: "It's the cracked ones that let light into the world." Lovely <3

(I should probably not write LJ entries at 5am when my eyes are killing me and I can't look at my computer screen and think at the same time >.>)
4am_secret: (HIMYM // Call for Swarley)
"Back to work full time (12 hours a day, 6 days a week) within a month, even though doctors said to take it easy (he works manual labor). The cancer still grows. That is the American dream." From here. That is one fucked up American dream right there, folks.

In other fucked-up-ness, I agree with this commentary. The original campaign is amazing, and it really bothers me that the second anything hits the internet anymore, there has to be some meme offshoot of it. It's like nobody gives a shit about anything anymore, just how they can make it funny. I know that's a bit of a generalization, but I see it so much.

One of them reminds me of yesterday, when I was watching TV and I saw an ad from my cable company, encouraging people to check out a Halloween decoration contest they were having, you could view the entries on one of the On Demand channels. I only looked at ONE before I cancelled out of the whole thing. Someone actually had fake corpses of Saddam, Osama, and Gaddafi hanging from trees in their front yard, amidst coffins and other Halloweeny stuff. Fucking disgusting. Reminds me of another article I read recently about how the only thing Americans as a (large, or almost) whole can celebrate anymore are corpses. So sad.

But in happy news!!! Today I had a ~magical movie day~, because the only movies I've seen for the last like... year+ have been the two parts of Deathly Hallows. I went to see Anonymous first, which was really really good. Right after that, I went to The Three Musketeers, and omggggggggggggggg. The Three Musketeers is one of my favorite stories EVER. I've wanted to get a fleur de lis tattooed on my shoulder since I was in high school BECAUSE of that story (and Milla Jovovich was perfectly badass as Milady) XDDD I always adored D'Artagnan, and this movie killed me because they got the cutest actor to play him :D So scrappy, hehehe <33333

I also got cupcake bites from the concession stand that I haven't tried yet, and there was a boy dressed like someone from Adventure Time there who was really cute~

Btw, [livejournal.com profile] gajastar, [livejournal.com profile] mcpofife, [livejournal.com profile] n_isfor_neville, [livejournal.com profile] volare, and [livejournal.com profile] writingonwalls, thank you so much for the spideys!! <333 They're soooo cute, and I hope I get a chance to send some out too :D
4am_secret: (Ringer // So many sides)
I watched the new Degrassi last night! Clare, when did you become That Girl that runs into the woods in the dark -_- And when are her and Eli going to get back together already ;______; Fuck Jake. He was just as responsible for that kiss as Ali. Also, why is Clare being such a jerk? It really bothered me, the way she dismissed Ali twice for having "pedestrian problems," ugh. She used to be one of my favorite characters, but they're really ruining her. Eli, however, remains golden and amazing.

I had a creepy moment while watching that episode, when my internet, cable, and phone signal all crapped out on me. I felt abruptly cut off and with the timing, it was very unnerving D:

I'm so behind on other shows, though. I still need to watch Merlin, and I'm behind on Pan Am, The Secret Circle, Revenge, and Terra Nova. This is what happens when I try to watch so many shows LOL @_@ Ringer is more and more delightfully twisted, though. Supernatural went for two of my weak spots this past week: eye gore, and cupcakes, why the cupcakes ;~; I was pretty upset when I watched it initially because eye stuff really, really deeply upsets me, and it basically ruined most of the episode for me because it takes awhile for that feeling to fade :/ I had been so looking forward to it, too! Charisma and James <33333 I need more Buffy alumni, pleeeeeaaaase :) The end of the episode was great though, and I think that I want to re-watch it, now that I know for sure what parts I can look away from.

Also watched the premiere of Once Upon a Time, I had been looking forward to that one for months and it did not disappoint! I think this show definitely has the potential to be one I never miss/forget, like Supernatural and HIMYM :3 I'm definitely dying for the next episode already.

This is a lot to read, but I really, really recommend it. It's basically the best, and most well-organized and thought-out smack down against that 53% bullshit I've seen yet. I am so tired of judgmental attitudes, of people measuring everyone else's situations against their own and making assumptions about them based on things they can't even possibly understand. I think it's one of the most sickening things I've seen surrounding the Occupy protests so far, because most of these people are part of the group that those protesters are fighting for, and they don't even realize it. They've been conditioned to believe that their lives are just how they're supposed to be :(

I think I would like to start posting links and things I find around the internet that interest me. I post stuff like that on twitter, but it doesn't give me much chance to talk about it, and it would give me an excuse to be around here more :)
4am_secret: (Random // Hate is easy)

I've been thinking about this topic so much recently, Tom's post earlier with the whole speech and this showing up on my dashboard tonight are amazing timing. The heavy value that everyone places on cleverness and thinking, to the point where I feel like so many people overshoot these things so much, or view them in such black and white terms, that they miss the point of them altogether. What value does cleverness have if it's used only to tear down others? And while I wish that MORE people spent some time thinking and questioning, it's completely useless to do so if you cannot summon an ounce of empathy or compassion.
4am_secret: (Bill ☠ Uhhhh...)
So, yesterday on Twitter we were having a discussion about that Houston fan team that was saying they had $10,000 worth of TH merchandise that they are giving away and whatnot for prizes at a fundraiser event. That seems like a... pretty high number, right? o.O Like I told [personal profile] gajastar, I'm PRETTY sure that everything I own, and the total of the travelling I've done for them, does not even come to $10,000 XD

Anyway, I'd been meaning to take pictures of all of my stuff (there's actually a thread on THI where people can share pictures of it all), and that discussion yesterday finally prompted me to do it. Plus, I need to scan my magazines and figure out which ones I'm okay with selling, so I needed to dig those out anyway. And I really wanted a picture of them all while I still have them :/ I mean, I worked hard for those things LOL EBay battles and all >.>

Don't mind my messy bed XD Click the pictures for bigger~

Pictures under here! )

October 2012

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Are you still living there
Walking the streets with your hollow stare
You say there's loneliness everywhere
So we have nothing to lose
The music plays all day long
And sorrow looks beautiful
And lovers seem mystical
Tomorrow a new point of view
These bright lights will bend to make blue
Now this can all look new to you