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[personal profile] 4am_secret
This article is really great. I am sick to death of the attitude I see so much, that if you can't just deal with things, get over things, find humor in things, not be offended by things, take the high ground, etc. etc. etc., there is something wrong with you. I am surrounded by people in RL who have pretty rigid expectations for me of how I should react to any given issue and how I should live. Everyone reacts to everything in different ways, and what one person thinks is no big deal might be a VERY big deal to someone else, and no one has the right to take that away from them. Most especially if that someone else experiences it in some more direct way, but likewise, I'm also sick of people who have been through similar experiences and come out better for it acting like everyone should be able to.

I'm super irritated with this right now because I've seen it so much in the past few days especially, for various reasons. The one time I look at ONTD of my own volition, I see an article about how RuPaul thinks it's totally okay to use the word 'tranny' howeveryouplease, even as an insult, with millions of comments about how oversensitive everyone is anymore and how everyone should just develop a thick skin. I'm sorry (not really though), but fuck that. This world is shit for the most part, but there are so many things that would be even worse if people hadn't gotten hurt, gotten offended, and gotten angry. Ignorant is uneducated, and that can be fixed.

Sometimes I just get really frustrated with how passive and docile we're all expected to be. It's great for some people if they can laugh about things and remain unaffected, I envy that so much, but not everyone can feel that way, and many don't have the choice.

Date: 2012-01-18 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mcpofife.livejournal.com
What I'm about to say is not a response to the article you linked, which I think is a thoughtful article on attitudes on how people respond differently to traumatic experiences such as rape. I am only commenting on how people respond to inappropriate jokes and humor, a very different thing.

I'm on the other side of the fence, where I can't stand the constant persecution by the PC Police! I feel like people are expected to find *everything* offensive nowadays, and crucify anyone who says the wrong thing. I don't deny people's right to find things offensive or think that certain things shouldn't be joked about, but I resent the idea that everyone should be offended or not joke about it.

For me, so much has to do with intentions. For example, Sarah Silverman is often hated for making offensive or "racist" jokes, but her humor is actually skewering racism. People just hear certain buzzwords and say, "No one is allowed to use these words or make fun of these things."

The implication that women who enjoy vulgar or sexual jokes made by men lack self-respect REALLY bothers me. It's an incredibly sexist notion.

In fact, I often see people expressing opinions I completely disagree with, am offended by, find misleading or completely false. I just accept that they have the right to their opinions, the same as I do, and move on. An opinion is not the same as an attack, and it seems like so many people can't see the distinction.

Above all else, for me, is that we must respect and fight for each other's rights to express ourselves however we choose, even if it's something we find offensive. Rather than work to silence those who perpetuate myths, we should use our own voices to perpetuate truths.

Anyway, just another perspective!

Date: 2012-01-18 02:21 am (UTC)
ext_52: (TH // Cartoon legs)
From: [identity profile] 4am-secret.livejournal.com
I agree, to an extent. I think that knee-jerk reactions are too common, and often from people that don't fully understand what's even going on. I think there's a lot of humor out there that is meant to call out ignorance and, rather than poking fun at the marginalized, it pokes fun at those who are doing it to them. And that, I can totally get behind and enjoy, and I think that some of it is automatically labeled offensive because people miss the deeper meaning. The only thing that tends to bug me about stuff like that is that it works both ways - there are also people who don't get those jokes and take them literally, and as fuel for their own racism/sexism/homophobia etc. But even in those cases, I have a problem with those specific people, and not the source.

I think sometimes getting offended on behalf of other people isn't even welcome by them, but I also think it depends on the nature of a joke, and the subject of it. Like, rape jokes are a no go for me, absolutely no matter what, because joking about something like that normalizes it and desensitizes people.

So I guess you could say that I've considered this before, and don't disagree with you XD But this wasn't really what I meant for this entry to be about. My issue was less with RuPaul's opinion and everyone who agreed with it (I actually wasn't so much offended by it as much as I simply disagreed), but more with their treatment of the people who disagreed in the comments. I could even ignore the people who tried to justify his use of it, but the ones that bothered me were the ones who were trying to put down anyone who felt hurt by what he said, or who recognized that it could hurt people. When it's an opinion regarding something like an aspect of someone's identity, I can understand why they would take it personally.

There is such a disdain in the world of anyone who shows any signs of weakness or vulnerability. I mean, I don't exactly want or expect everyone to coddle each other, but some understanding/compassion wouldn't kill people XD Or to follow Thumper's eternal advice!

I keep staring at your icon, it's so pretty *_______*

Date: 2012-01-18 03:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mcpofife.livejournal.com
feel free to nab it! it's credited in the icon notes or w/e you call 'em.

I agree that compassion/understanding should be shown to everyone :-)

For me the optimal situation when it comes to humor is for people to say, "I respect that you're offended by this, even though I'm not," and for the reply to be, "I respect that you're not offended by this, even though I am."

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Are you still living there
Walking the streets with your hollow stare
You say there's loneliness everywhere
So we have nothing to lose
The music plays all day long
And sorrow looks beautiful
And lovers seem mystical
Tomorrow a new point of view
These bright lights will bend to make blue
Now this can all look new to you